This was a hectic and emotional week.

This past Wednesday, I headed into NYC to take my author photo and to meet with my former editor.

The shoot was surprisingly taxing.  We worked outside and to take advantage of the natural light.  One background after another, I smiled, tried to keep my eyes open and soft against the wind, remembered to sit up straight.  There was so much to remember.  Then the photographer and I tried shots with my overcoat on, then off.  We wrapped a scarf around my shoulders and then didn’t like the color and bought another from a street vendor.

Finally, we headed to a few more locations closer to the photographer’s house.  We must have taken two hundred pictures in less than an hour.

Then I headed all the way downtown to meet with the editor who purchased the project but moved to another publishing house.  It was a lively and illuminating lunch.  We discussed our lives, the book, promotion and lots of other things.  But somehow, by the end of the lunch, I felt frightened about what was coming next for the book.

Another subway ride later, I met with the photographer again to shoot more pictures in the late afternoon light and to get DVDs of the images.

I arrived back home right around my kid’s bedtime.

When I checked my email, I discovered my current editor had left me a chipper note approving my request for an extension.  But it meant that I would have less than a week to complete my work.

I took my aching feet and heavy heart to bed that night, troubled and worried for reasons I couldn’t name.

The book and my life were changing shape again, and I didn’t feel at all ready to handle or process what was happening.