Revisions are hard.  I know because as I have been revising The Black Girl Next Door, I have been revising my life.  Two excruciating and exhilarating processes that have taught me some important life lessons.

As I’ve said before, the book revisions have been a matter of perspective, understanding my own frame of mind and finding work that matches it, and a matter proportion—knowing when to find the right word that will keep me from having to eliminate an entire paragraph or add one.  I have been immersing myself in the revision and am nearly finished with this pass and I find myself smiling with pleasure as I read the words that I have crafted.  I can smile sometimes and recognize an insight or a turn of phrase that pleases me.   For all that I have written in my life, the experience has been rare.

I never lost my passion for writing, but, before this project, I had lost track of the joy.

Revision has made me feel the joy of writing at an entirely new depth. Until I figured out the importance of perspective and proportion I dreaded the revision of the book.  I worried that I would ruin the manuscript.

My husband and I are in the midst of a divorce.  After too many years of sadness, we are taking our shared life apart.  Many people who love me counseled me to complete the book before I initiated the process.  Their intentions were good and their advice was sound.  The only problem was that the seemingly sensible delay was really suffocating my soul with fear.

When I gave myself permission to revise my life, to release a relationship that no longer fit the best version of myself, I felt freer and clearer than I had in years. I am convinced that writing and revising the book helped me write and revise my life.  I have nurtured both revisions and like both projects more each day.